


heaven go easy on me

by specialmouse



Category: X-Men (Alternate Timeline Movies)
Genre: Canon Compliant, M/M, Past Relationship(s), Post-X-Men: Apocalypse (2016)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-17
Updated: 2019-08-17
Packaged: 2020-08-19 15:33:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 929
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20212096
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/specialmouse/pseuds/specialmouse
Summary: This time was different from the others.





	heaven go easy on me

**Author's Note:**

> put my spotify on shuffle. song for this one is 'heaven go easy on me' by the head and the heart... very VERY good and applicable song.

On the second Tuesday since Cairo, Erik pulled Charles away to the garden.

It had been a schoolwide effort to plant the flowers and the vegetables and the fruit trees, and a handful of years later the garden had turned into a picturesque miasma of colors and smells. There was no better place to clear one's mind. Erik was about to ruin that for Charles forever.

"So soon?" Erik was polite enough not to look away. In the warm early September air, surrounded by the zinnias and dahlias, Charles started to shiver.

"I've overstayed my welcome," Erik said simply. 

"You're not a guest," said Charles. Erik smiled. "You're not."

"I don't live here." Erik turned his face to meet the sunshine. It gleamed off his cheekbones and the bridge of his nose. Charles bit his lip. "I could stop by every once in a while. Maybe while the kids are on their vacation... do you do those here?"

"No, we--_stop_ it." Erik was doing this intentionally, and Charles knew it, but he had no idea _why._ "You don't have to keep running."

The other man laughed. "International law says I do."

"Well, you don't." Charles swatted Erik's hand away when it came to rest on his shoulder. "Since when have you let the law apply to you?"

"Since when have you stopped caring about the law?"

Erik raised an eyebrow when Charles grew silent. He wanted to sneer at him with all the childness that implied. But that neglected, starved part of Charles was yearning for this, for any bickering he could get with Erik, for any smile he could wring out of him, even if at his own expense.

Years ago it was over the chess board with a glass of scotch or wine in hand, alternating between pointed barbs and impassioned kisses. Now, in the garden, one was standing and the other wasn't, and it felt much more like a game than the chess ever had. 

"Where are you even planning on going?"

That came out harsher than Charles had meant it to. "I mean, if they're after you, isn't, you know, isn't being in-range of _me_ a bigger benefit?"

"Sure." Erik shrugged.

"Fuck _off,"_ snapped Charles.

"I'm trying."

"Be serious."

"I am."

"Evidently not!" Charles had long since accepted his disability, but this was one of the rare moments when he wished he could jump up and smack Erik across his grinning face. He settled for gripping the handles of his chair and giving Erik the dirtiest glare he could muster. A bumblebee zipped around the spokes of the wheels, filling the silence with its buzzing. "Why are you leaving, Erik?"

Erik, for once, didn't speak. He slipped his a hand into the pocket of his slacks and came out with a picture of a man, a woman, and a child, crumpled and worn at the folds. Charles didn't need to know who the other two were to understand their significance. Charles released his vice-grip on his chair and leaned forward, taking in the details. The woman was beautiful and plain, with long brown hair and a soft smile. The girl was similar, but she had Erik's nose and his eyes and _Erik,_ wrapped around the both of them like kudzu, his wide smile warm even in photograph--

Erik pulled away, folding the picture again and pocketing it. 

"Twice," he said. "It's happened twice."

"My friend..."

Charles wanted to scream, wanted to scream that it'd be different with him, that he'd protect him from the world... but he couldn't. He couldn't lie. Not when Erik wouldn't.

"I... can't promise it won't happen again," he said slowly, truthfully, feeling himself shrink back into his chair. Erik closed his eyes, furrowed his brow, turned his head against a wave of hurt. "But didn't it feel good while you had it?"

"Charles." His voice was raspy and fraught with emotion.

Charles reached out, fingers fumbling for the other man. They hooked on the hem of his jeans and pulled Erik a step closer, close enough for Charles to slip a hand against the small of his back. He tangled his fingers into the fabric of Erik's henley and pressed his forehead into the flat expanse of his stomach. It was an awkward position, one that could've been remedied by the other kneeling, but Charles didn't want that and neither did Erik, who returned the embrace by gripping the opening of Charles's sweater in a fist.

"I won't lose you too," Erik said, his voice barely a growl. 

"You won't." Charles was promising something different and they both knew it. "Please." He squeezed Erik tighter, tears starting to well in his eyes.

Erik said nothing for several minutes before pulling back with a sniff, a small dark blotch on the front of his shirt from where Charles had laid his head. He paid no mind to it.

Several more moments of silence before he said, "Tomorrow."

Charles knew Erik was already compromising.

"Okay," he said. He wiped his eyes with the back of his sweater sleeve and straightened. "Okay."

—

Charles found a portable chessboard and they played in the grass, surrounded by the flowers and the squash and the saplings. They talked too much and drank even more, until they were too dizzy and warm to move. They played through the fireflies, through the moonrise, through the part where one of them should've realized something. When they finally stumbled back up to their rooms, the parting kiss didn't even hurt. 

It was a gift to say goodbye like this.

**Author's Note:**

> follow me at teenelf on tumblr!


End file.
